Early Wednesday morning (9/10), the Assistant Manager of the floor notified us that we would likely have to share our room with another mom/baby. This was due to construction that was happening at the hospital. Needless to say, this is NOT something that Jared or I wanted to do. We couldn't figure out why they would schedule construction on that part of the hospital in September, knowing that it is the busiest time of the year for labor and deliveries. We were aggravated and Jared asked if there was any possiblity of us going home that day instead. Initially, we were told no, but then they realized that it had actually been over 24 hours since Sage was born. So, after some phone calls, they told us at about 1 pm that we could go home at 3pm.
Because of the rush, the afternoon was hectic with nurses running in and out to take care of me and Sage and all the things that needed to be done before we could leave. Jared rushed off to have the car seat installed while I stayed to pack and prepare for discharge. By 3:30 Jared and I were packed and ready to go home with our little man. That's when the real fun started...
First, while I changed Sage into his homecoming outfit, I also changed his diaper. Just after I lay the clean diaper under him, he squirts another turd out. I wipe that off, and then comes another. After wiping that off, he pees all over himself! I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt and the tears in my eyes were preventing me from finishing the diapering job. But, between Jared, myself, and the nurse, we were able to get Sage cleaned up and into his homecoming outfit.
Then, as Jared is working on strapping Sage into the car seat, my nurse finally decides to take the IV port out of my wrist. She rips the tape off (free wax job) and puts a tiny piece of guaze with a bit of pressure on the wound for a few seconds. I'm feeling fine, so not thinking much about it, I hop out of the chair to help Jared. We're over the bed, strapping Sage in, and gathering some things off the bed. Next thing you know, I look down and there is blood EVERYWHERE - all over the bed sheets, the floor, the pillows, etc.!!! I suddenly realize that it's coming from me where the IV had been. I'm thankful I didn't pass out from this realization. My nurse grabs the pillow case off the pillow and is wrapping it tightly around my wrist. She says, "hold that really tight and put your wrist above your heart." I do as she says as she runs out of the room to find something more appropriate than a pillowcase to stop the bleeding. Finally, she comes back and after more pressure is applied and my wrist is elevated for awhile, I'm fine and ready to go. Who knew so much blood come from such a tiny pin prick of a hole?!!! It seriously looked like a scene from a horror movie.
So, finally, we are ready to go. I'm in the wheelchair holding Sage in his carseat. Jared is pushing the galley cart FILLED with all of our belongings. Also on the cart (on the top shelf) are all the beautiful flower arrangements and balloons sent to us at the hospital. The nurse rolls me out and Jared follows with the cart. We make it all the way out to the car when, oops, there goes a wheel of the cart off the curb!!! A vase filled with flowers attached to a ballon crashes to the ground. Luckily, Jared saved the cart from spilling anything else!
At this point, I'm sitting on the sidewalk with the baby, feeling pretty helpless as I watch Jared frustrated by the crashing flowers. I continue watching as Jared and the nurse load everything into our Tucson. As they're loading things, the wind decides to pick up, and the cart starts to roll away heading right into a wall and certain disaster. Thank goodness for the elderly lady who moved quite quickly for her age and grabbed the cart just in time!!! All I could do was laugh - maybe a little delirious from minimal sleep and quite a bit of blood loss. But, here I am laughing so hard I can't see straight!
Our exit from the hospital could've been a script for a sitcom! All of these events took place in under 30 minutes - hilarious!
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